Tuesday, July 05, 2005
I'm not feeling too good rite now. Let's see, how exactly am i feeling? Useless, useless, useless.
I'm not one who likes to bum around at home for long periods of time. I want a job. I want sumthin useful to do. Otherwise i feel completely purposeless.
It doesn't help that i still havent got any word on the $1200++ that DBS Bank is supposed to be recovering for me (Some idiot used my mastercard number to pay off some bills. Oh and the idiot is a US citizen. Apparently the idiot stole my number during one of those times i used my card over in US.) I'm hoping i will get alll the money back, but the investigation period is abt 60 days and it's not even been 1 mth yet. *sighz*
It's not just the money. I'm a big girl and i dun want to have to depend on anyone for money. My dad have been offering to give me money to tide me over till i get a job. But i refused to take his money coz i believe i've taken enuf and i shd be giving him money instead of the other way ard. Besides, i've still got a bit of savings left. And i dun want to depend on my bf either. His NS allowance isn't much to begin wif and i dun want him to have to pay for my share too. He has spent more than enuf on me.
Staying at home isn't such a good idea either coz it drives my parents crazy everyday that i'm at home, not having a job. They dun say it out so blatantly but i guess i'm juz feeling like i'm a disappointment to them. Sumtimes, i have a feeling they think that i'm not trying my best to get a job. But i am. Everyday i send dozens of resumes out. It's hard. "Economy is picking up"? Yea rite, sure it is. And the "must be able to speak chinese" requirement is reallie frustrating. I dun get why they haf to put that in as 1 of the requirements when the job doesn't even require any communication wif customers or clients. It's juz boring admin/data-entry. Kinda makes me think that if i didn't haf to go to US, i'd still have a job now! hehe But oh well, u win some, u lose some eh.
Some pple might think i'm juz a whiny, complaining, good-for-nothin. Someone told me that i shd juz keep trying and stop complaining. Sorry abt that. I wasn't looking for sympathy. I juz needed sumone to talk to. Hopefully, i'll get a good job, soon.
Having too much time on my hands is not a good thing. I'm feeling more pathetic each day. Lucky i still have Mendaki tutoring. I love my kids. I reallie do. They make me scream myself hoarse each week, but they also make me smile. 1 of my students gave me a card and a gift as a welcome back present. I was so touched i almost cried.
aiyoh.. so sweet. There's even a song on it. :P
That reallie helped. Small gesture.. but it went a long, long way. =)
However, i'm still adamant about not wanting to teach full-time. My dad has been pestering me to sign up for NIE, saying since i'll nvr get a job, i shd juz go for teaching. He can't seem to understand that it's not wat i wanna do for a living. I love the Mendaki tutoring scheme, but dats onli once a week. And there's onli a maximum of 15 kids per class. I dun think i haf the patience required to teach full-time. I haf utmost respect for teachers and i reallie do wonder how they cope wif it, coz i definitely can't do it.
My cuzin suggested that i go for relief teaching. Mebbe i'll do dat, if they'll accept me that is. Till i find a proper job. Yea, mebbe. We'll see.
Do tell me, how can i not gain weight if all i do is eat and eat? :P
I better stop eating so much and start saving up before i run out of money!
P.S. Liana.. how i wish u had reallie given me the $10k juz now... heheheh ;)
