Wednesday, July 21, 2004
Perfect.. I am n0t. S0metimes I wish I am.. but n0b0dy's perfect. I have issues. L0ts n l0ts 0f issues. I try t0 deal wif them but s0metimes I juz can't seem t0 get it 0ut 0f my system. I'm da type 0f pers0n wh0 can f0rgive(m0st 0f da time) but I cann0t f0rget. Rite n0w th0ugh I wish I can f0rget. As much as I appear t0 be imperturbable and n0nchalant 0n the 0utside, inside I'm really insecure and vulnerable. Why am I telling u this? I haf n0 idea. I just need t0 scream I think. I need t0 whine and gripe and grumble. Where else t0 d0 it but here. I'm s0 fed up wif everything. E.g I'm 0n my c0mp typing all this 0ut rite n0w.. n my sis is watching tv d0wnstairs. My dad c0mplains ab0ut s0me ch0re that has n0t been d0ne. FYI my sis is sitting in direct view 0f my dad. But wh0 d0es he call? SYIDAH!!!! 0h I sh0uld be used t0 this by n0w. It happens all da bl00dy time wif b0th my parents. But I'm juz in a freakily bad m00d.. s0 I haf zer0 t0lerance f0r it rite n0w. S0 I ign0re. I pretend I'm hearing impaired. N0t that I'm c0mplaining about having t0 d0 h0usewerk. But my sis is dere. Why can't he get her t0 d0 it? Th0se 0f u wh0 have the misc0ncepti0n that the y0ungest are the babies 0f the family and will always get pampered.. Let me tell u that's freakin bullshit. At least in my case it is. S0 dun g0 assuming that they're pampered anytime sum0ne tells u that he/she is the y0ungest in da family. Especially dun d0 dat t0 me. I'll kick ur ass. If i'm in this m00d. 0therwise, i'll smile sweetly n curse u bl00dy hell inside. *shrugz* Dunn0 h0w t0 describe exactly h0w I'm feeling n0w. I'm an eg0istic and em0ti0nally w0unded gerl wif battered self c0nfidence. Ritez. Am I d0ing the drama queen thing? N0 I'm n0t usually a drama queen. But I juz need s0me attenti0n rite n0w. Wh0 wants t0 give it t0 me? N0b0dy? Fine. *sulks*
